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Day 2 of my musing, or lack of one....


So, today I think I tried to hard to think of something random.
It is almost as if my brain said it does not want to be posted on Facebook along with every other meme, dick and hairy on here.

But, I am planning a birthday party. 



So, I can vent on here about how I am being my overly nervous self again. Worrying if we bought enough food, is he going to like the presents we bought or are there allergies. 



Then I let my self go into a weird area of worry. I have 4 moms coming to the party and I am scared they wont like each other, or they will stop liking me, or that I will come on too strong, like usual. I am worse than someone going on a blind date when I meet new people. They are literately the only thing I have resembling friends currently out here (except for my friend Ashley. 
Being a Military wife is really hard during times like this. 



I miss having my middle sister living in the apartment above me so I can go hang out after work. I miss being able to spontaneously have lunch with my dad who lives the the city attached to mine and not 12 hours away, I miss just hanging out with my friends and getting to go do things with them. It is hard trying to find new friends when you are old.... and have kids.....
I know I am missing a lot back home. I am reminded of this a lot. But, its ok, tomorrow I get to play hostess for a birthday party, try to enjoy a day of just relaxing and yelling at kids to stop eating what ever nasty thing they think is cool to eat, case they wanted a snack and carve up a Peppa Pig cake... (I still have no idea what or who that even is......)

Day 1... The Perfect Cup of Coffee

Weird Musing of the day.. I think I am going to start trying to do a musing of the day, see if it goes viral and we really get to see those inside thoughts that we don't talk about. I personally love the shower musings, but I am not functional enough in a hot shower to remember what ever it was I thinking about to post. So these are just as they come up. This literally just happened (only reason I can remember enough to post it)



Also, with facebooks new "Let look back on your memories" things, it would be nice to see more than just "3 years ago: status update about doing dishes again then, 6 years ago: status updated about how my ex is an a hole.. So, I needed a bit more on there.
So, weird musing Day 1: I randomly caught myself realizing something about me this morning, a kind of "huh" thought if you will.
I have learned that my most perfect cup of coffee is left over coffee. Straight up reheated coffee.. Let me explain.


When Lance and I moved in together, I noticed that Lance was really not a big coffee drinker, I, however, have always loved a good cup of coffee especially in the morning. I started making it a lot and he started drinking it more. He had decided soon after that he didn't like the darker roast, he liked the lighter blends and started drinking with me as often as I had. (This is really all going through my head as I am making said cup of coffee, it takes two minutes to heat so a lot happens then), so we started buying a medium roast that we both thought was a good compromise. Though I still love a good dark roast, but its one of many of the marriage compromises that you end up doing.
I then noticed as I stirred in way too much creamer again, that this was the rare cup. The one cup I get every so often that has been sitting out over night getting stronger because it was unfinished from yesterday because we were too busy to both have our usual two cups. So it left one cup left, a perfect amount in my Leo large cup. I smiled at this thought as I patiently waited for the last bit of creamer to finally sink in the coffee.
As the last bit of the pretty, light colored hazelnut creamer finally dissolved in my coffee, I got to run through some of the great moments that happened the day before, to remember why we didn't get that second cup.


The mad dash to iron my husbands shirt as he comes home to change to his civilian clothes unaware that I am smiling because I am ironing a shirt for him (how domestic of me), our oldest son decided to make breakfast for everyone for Gabe's birthday, the amazing birthday dinner we took our middle son to for his big 6th birthday, and the way he and I have an amazing comfortable marriage where he lets me binge watch the shows I want and he is content on the computer till he knows to come wake me and put me to bed.
The Best Part of Waking up is Memories in your cup... I really love that cup of coffee.

Hi, My name is Ivy and I am a food addict.......

 So, you are probably wondering about how I actually blog since I have yet to post anything other than photos and recipes.

Well I will start off by saying I am not a typical blogger. I am new to all of this stuff. Because I have so many interests, I tend to just jump from one topic to another.
Like I could be talking to you about my Etsy store and the latest necklace I just created then we end up on my latest photo I just took.


I think the main reason why I decided to talk through a computer is mainly because of my weight. I am ok talking about it, though it does make some people uncomfortable. I walk into a room and there it is in all its glory. Hi, My name is Ivy and I am a food addict.......

I could honestly dedicate an entire blog to talking about my experiences as an obese woman.
Obese, sounds like such a profane and dirty word honestly. Just saying it out loud in your head makes your whole body recognize the word and the weight it carries.. lol see that pun I made there.

I know it's hard for people to really see me because of it. Can you blame them? Can you blame yourself for the words that enter in your head when you see a woman of my size walking in the room?  It's not very often at all I will see someone larger than me talking amongst everyone in the public eye. I know there are many times where people have not wanted to talk to me, laughed in their private circles and whispered among there peers "God, just shoot me if I ever get like that."
With those people comes the other people I like to call the stick uppers.

The stick uppers are the people that hate anyone getting bullied or feel they need to defend me for the size I am, using excuses like "She is beautiful inside and out" or "It's not the size of the person that makes them who they are" I smile politely at these people and thank them for their kindness. They don't know any better, they think this is more of the choice I made. They think that I am beautiful for me and that they love me no matter what... I appreciate this and hate this at the same time.

Yea, I am pretty, I am a very good person, I have a great moral character, I also have an uncanny ability to soothe any distressed person with just the warmth from my heart. I am what is called the eternal counselor, because anyone and everyone can talk to me without the fear of judgement. I have the ability to talk to strangers and have them immediately trust me, because they sense that I am a sweet and wonderful person. My husband and I like to call my skill, "Making Single Serving Friends" based off the movie Fight Club. I can be standing in line in a grocery store and the person either in front of me or behind me will start a conversation with me out of no where and we will start talking like we were old friends and before you know it, you pretty much told me everything there is to know about you.

But none of this excuses me for the person I am today if we are talking very honest here. I did make my own choices. I did choose a pint of ice cream over wearing cute little shorts. I did choose to eat at the all you can eat buffet because I knew it would be cheaper than fast food because I could eat more that the price they were charging for the meal.

I am not one of many women that were skinny at one point then had life and kids happen to them, those women have an excuse. Their bodies reflect how life has changed them. Me however, I have always been like this.
When I was in 6th grade, I was already wearing stirrup pants. I was already getting chaffing on my thighs from them rubbing together. I was a product of a large family, fast food, and no one really cared about excersise and nutrition. When I was a kid, I had the excuse, but now that I am an adult, I have no one to blame but me. I have been offered a world of advice, counseling, free martial arts classes, and many people with their countless words of wisdom on how they lost the weight, but I still always loved my couch and ice cream to keep me company.

Is it right to stick up for the person who chooses to not get help? Should I be allowed to lump myself in the same category as women that have taken care of themselves and then through just a normal process of age, children and life found themselves in the same category as me?

I am my biggest critic, I punish myself more than enough to make up for whatever punishments the human race can throw at me for what I have done to myself. I look at myself in the mirror on a few occasions for only minutes, because I don't even want to see what stares back at me.

Then, Cameron was born... With him came a new insight about what I have done to myself and made me decide that ice cream was not worth missing his graduation. Cheesecake is not worth missing the Mom and Son dance at his wedding. Brownies are not worth the ability to run with him through a park.

This kid has saved my life in so many ways. I can and can't wait to meet the man he will become. He is already too smart and independent. He won't be my baby for long at all. I feel I will have to tell him to slow down and be a kid more than anything else.. And there I go, ending up on another subject.

I am sure I will touch base on this topic again since its a big one for me, but for now at least I have started the process of talking about it. Hi, My name is Ivy and I am a food addict.......


Recipe: Slow Cooker Stroganoff

Slow-Cookers-Beef-Stroganoff


Well, I have to say, I am a newbie cook. I am no Rachel Ray, but I am now a loving wife, a new mom with a 1 year old and a step mom to a 4 and 7 year old, so I needed to learn to cook... Coming from the single life where running into Taco Bell was the easiest thing for dinner, I had no clue on what to do. So, I went to my good pal Google and found this awesome recipe that is so easy, taste so good and left overs for the hubby the next day were actually tasty. A New Version of Stroganoff:

Ingredients

Original recipe makes 4 servings   1 pound cubed beef stew meat 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed golden mushroom soup 1/2 cup chopped onion 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 1/4 cup water 4 ounces cream cheese
  • PREP 10 mins
  • COOK 8 hrs
READY IN 8 hrs 10 mins

Directions

  1. In a slow cooker, combine the meat, soup, onion, Worcestershire sauce and water.
  2. Cook on Low setting for 8 hours, or on High setting for about 5 hours. Stir in cream cheese just before serving.
  That is seriously it! I love the Worcestershire Sauce, so I put more of that in it and my husband is not a big fan of onion so we don’t always put that in there. It is really easy to double this recipe and great for potlucks!!

Today's herb is Lavender

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Today's herb is Lavender... Everyone knows that purple little flower, but do you know all of what it can do?
The fresh, sweet aroma of lavender -- whether in the garden, dried, or in a high quality essential oil -- has relaxing and uplifting qualities that leave users with a sense of calm and balance, making it one of today's most popular scents. Lavender is a multi-purpose herb: when dried, the flowers are used in potpourris, sachets, crafting and home decor. Lavender has also been used throughout history for medicinal purposes, to encourage love and passion, and in the preparation of food dishes. Today it is most commonly used in aromatherapy and the perfume industry.
The use of lavender has been recorded for more than 2,500 years. Egyptians, Phoenicians and the people of Arabia used lavender as a perfume -- and also for mummification, by wrapping the dead in lavender-dipped shrouds. In ancient Greece, lavender was called "nardus," "nard," or "spikenard" (named for the Syrian city of Naarda) and was used as a cure for everything from insomnia and aching backs to insanity.
By Roman times, lavender had already become a prized commodity. Lavender flowers were sold to ancient Romans for 100 denarii per pound -- equivalent to a full month's wage for a farm laborer -- and were used to scent the water in Roman baths. In fact, the baths served as the root of the plant's current name. "Lavender" is derived from the Latin lavare, meaning, "to wash." Romans also used lavender as a perfume, insect repellent and flavoring. They even added dried lavender to their smoking mixtures.
A number of studies have reported that lavender essential oil may be beneficial in a variety of conditions, including insomnia, alopecia (hair loss), anxiety, stress, and postoperative pain. However, most of these studies have been small. Lavender is also being studied for antibacterial and antiviral properties. Lavender oil is often used in other forms of integrative medicine, such as massage, acupuncture, and chiropractic manipulation.
All in all, Lavender is more than just a pretty.... flower. It can be used for so many different things now that its purposes are limitless. So, go on with your smelly self and enjoy the wonderful smell that is Lavender.
Next week, we will talk about Cayenne Pepper... Not just for your chili anymore!!
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